Wednesday, February 20, 2013

"[Untitled], oh what a cliché."

Approximately 12 days ago I started writing poetry again (thanks, Google Docs for documenting this). There is an unfathomable amount of writings and drawings I composed in middle and high school but once I assumed an authoritative role in my career they diminished to perhaps one or two obligatory sketches per year, not including sketches of graphs. Although I try to blog/journal a sufficient amount to let out my emotions and sort out my thoughts, it is no substitute nor is it anywhere near what it once was. What happened to the Dreamer? Did she get consumed by the Worrier that also lay in my soul?

My search for a work-life balance is itself a work in progress.

We call those "wip's" in the knitting and crocheting community.

i eat my emotions
happiness never tasted so sweet
and sadness, so salty
jealousy was bitter
i think i’ll save that for december.

my fingers itch
when i don’t knit
oh fiddlestitch

soup needs to be a year-round celebration
ladle me some love, dear
let’s baste our passion with pearl onions and emerald chard
along with carrots and stalks of celery
to become our BROTHel, at your service.

in me
my brain
inside my emotions
vulnerability is power
i’m tired and i don’t want to fight anymore

I’m just beginning to realize that the way I handle situations with people is a direct reflection of how people have handled me in the past, and how I have dealt with it. As much as I am an advocate of utilizing coping strategies, I am an advocate for change. I notice that I am a very passive-aggressive person, chill, and with that there comes a certain pride; however, I find it detrimental to some integral situations happening in the classroom or in my life, and the recognition that change needs to occur transforms me into a person that I don’t know and am not comfortable with. Knowing that situations of rudeness, cheating, and lying will sort themselves out in the future calms me, but when I stop to think that they will be stopped due to the actions of people like me, the Teacher, I know this necessitates change in my personal attitude towards my professional career.