Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Musings Not Bemusings

I feel like the world is my effin' oyster right now. 

Ever since I returned from El Salvador, I see so many options and paths ahead of me. It literally opened up my eyes to the people, the culture, the language of the world. It made me feel closer to those I hold dear to my heart -- or it inspired me to get closer to them. Conversely it's inspired me to let go of the things that have been the source of my hold-ups for the last two years.

Both are going to inspire big changes, but I have so much optimism that I'm hopeful for a future even if it means struggle. At least it'll mean change.

I'm not as offended anymore when people remind me how "young" I am... (I think what bugs me so damn much is that I have no perspective on the matter ... think about it: I don't know what it feels like to be any other age than the ages that I've already experienced, how could I possibly know how relatively "young" I am compared to someone older than me?) ... but it certainly has made me feel that I need to take the time to go the extra mile to represent, protest, oppose and propose the things that I want to see happen in my lifetime. I want to make this semester at school the best ever, and I want to make this summer the best ever, and everything else afterward: The Best __________ Ever!

Exploring another country that is as rich in history as it is in tragedy inspired me to explore my options that lie in my own local community. People that I talk with about my journey seem fascinated and admire me for doing it, but some part of me doesn't understand why. It makes sense to me that one would want to pursue a cause about which they are passionate. I know that there are some hold-ups: money, risks of traveling to a "developing" country, trust, etc.

I had never been more homesick but once I returned to the United States I couldn't stop thinking about returning to the pueblos and learning more about what it meant to be from El Salvador. When I returned from the Twin Cities to protest the Republican National Convention four years ago I was surprised to see that "nothing" changed while I was away; now, returning from another country, I'm witnessing the same thing (I just have more colorful stuff). Only this time around I'm taking more initiative to creating the results I want.

1 comment:

  1. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to make the most of it. As someone who gets very caught up in my own little world too often, I say bravo!!